Life Sentences, Day 148: Wumsy ANGRY

February 25th, 2011

Okay, Wumsy’s had enough, and he’s asked me to pass along his complaints.

First, he’s not pleased that I told (even just through photo captions) the story of his party.  That was, he says, a personal intrusion, and he wants to know how I’d feel if he went online with the story of the day I went to school in my mother’s cocktail dress.  Without admitting that such a thing ever happened, I have to say that I see his point.

Second, he wants you to know this:  To another bunny, bunnies are not “cute.” They may be attractive, alluring, mysterious, unpleasant, dangerous — all the ways people might describe each other — but “cute” means something very special to a bunny.  It means cute even to a bunny, and Wumsy wants me to say that this is a degree of cuteness so far above anything humans can appreciate that it can best be compared with the pitch of a dog whistle that’s octaves above the hearing range of homo sapiens.

Third, he wants us to be aware that bunnies have long suffered from being relegated to the “cute” end of the species spectrum.  In fact, a bunny artist of some repute, Carrots Keane, painted a symbolic response to this sterotyping, and here it is:

Prints of this painting, the original of which now hangs in the Bunny Metropolitan, have been carried into demonstrations by angry bunnies all over America, although the Mainstream Media ignores them.

Fourth, Wumsy asks (without, he says , much faith in the outcome) for greater media sensitivity.  Some human-generated bunny images are just plain offensive.  The Bunny Anti-defamation League does what it can to root them out, but what can they do when a Danish paper publishes something like this?

It’s not only sexist, but also speciesist.  And also ABBAist, which bunnies regard as an additional insult.  And this is the top of the iceberg.  Offensive bunny images are everywhere.  How would humans feel, Wumsy says, if they shared the earth with a predator that ate them casually, and another species — let’s say bunnies — put online an image that made fun of humans by finding one of them in a photo of the predator?  I know that’s confusing, but lookie here.  Can you find the angry bunny in this picture of a (brrrrrr!) cat?

You think that’s funny?  Well, Wumsy doesn’t.

And finally, here’s a Bunny-Approved™  image of a bunny that takes itself seriously, painted by Sir Francis Bunny, and there’s a prize waiting for the first person to explain that joke.

Why, you may ask, am I telling you this rather than Wumsy doing it himself?  He wanted to, but without thumbs he was having problems with the space bar.

And there was something so cuuuuuuuute, about his little pawsies on the keyboard that we all just went awwwwww and isn’t that precious and AFGDT$28th]dm  riuasntl4yyak,dfhlsandw-wmddew83enhdsk,o

10 Responses to “Life Sentences, Day 148: Wumsy ANGRY”

  1. Suzanna Says:

    The top picture is very funny.

    I am a little surprised that Wumsy is so upset about being thought of as cute all the time. Wumsy should know that we humans don’t always go out of our way to depict bunnies as cute.

    Remember the blood thirsty bunnies in Monty Python and The Holy Grail?

    They could fly through the air, attack, and kill with one vicious bite to the neck. But maybe Wumsy would resent this depiction as well. So hard to say how a rabbit will react sometimes.

    While you’re at it please tell Wumsy there is another example of a bunny who is not exactly cute. Funny, sharp witted, sometimes a little cheeky, Bugs Bunny.

    Okay, I rest my case. Only trying to get Wumsy to simmer down.

    Sorry, I have no clue about the Sir Francis Bunny joke but I look forward to someone explaining it.

  2. micael hallinan Says:

    I for one have had it up to hear with angry bunnies and their union. I’ll sign this” hopping mad in Laguna” As for the joke Im going 1. with Fracis Bacon the Artist and 2. Francis Bacon the Shakespearean ghost writer. I get two guesses cuz Im family. (Everett you only get one)

  3. EverettK Says:

    Micael: I believe that it’s spelled fracas, not Fracis. And I don’t need a guess, as I know it’s Sir Francis Pig… er… Bacon, as well, who we all know is the actual author of the Edgar Award nominated The Queen of Patpong. That Hallinan nom de plume is a pure fiction, used to hide the true identity of one of the founding fathers of the Freemasons who, through the invention and exercise of the scientific method, discovered the elixir of eternal life, and lives on amongst us, the true power behind the Republican Party, which uses an elephant as their public symbol, but which, amongst the upper echelons of power, of which Sir Francis is the upper of the uppers, the actual symbol is the bunny.

  4. Larissa Says:

    Does anybody remember Bunnicula? The Vampire Bunny that terrified children of my age for years and years and years.

    Scary carrots man. Awesome post.

  5. Gary Says:

    I’m saddened but not surprised to learn that bunnies are misrepresented by the Mainstream Media. I mean, look how Sarah Palin’s been treated.

    If ever there was an angry bunny, there she is.

  6. Lil Gluckstern Says:

    I don’t believe any of it. this is all a pigment of you all’s imagination. Is Wumsy Shakespeare in disguise, or is it Sir Francis Bacon in disguise, I just lost my train of thought. Talk about going from the sublime to the—-never mind.

  7. Debbi Says:

    What? Not even one Bugs Bunny mention? Jeez. What a disappointment.

  8. Laren Bright Says:

    At least Wumsy was not named after a part of the human male anatomy like another rabbit (or Cottontail) we might mention, but won’t because the blog’s just too high class for that.

  9. Timothy Hallinan Says:

    Hi, there, faithfuls.

    Suzanna, to put this gently, rabbits don’t get to see a lot of movies. With ticket prices what they are and a rising resistance to taking carrots at the box office, fewer and fewer bunnies are seeing the films that could change their perspective on all of us. That’s one of the issues they’ve been protesting, but the Mainstream Media remains resolutely silent on it. It would break your heart to see it — bunnies gathered by the hundreds in the biggest underground room available as Grampa Twigsy tells the story of the last movie he saw, which was Cecil B. DeMille’s “The Ten Commandments.” The first one, from 1922.

    micael, you win the prize, a lifetime supply of carrots. Unfortunately, the budget of this blog doesn’t allow home delivery so the carrots will have to be picked up daily, and there’s a small handling charge. But Sir Francis Bacon (the painter) it was.

    Everett, have you been hanging with Dan Brown? No one else could know all these things. You left out the Freemason Order of the Bunny, to which all the globe’s top spies belong. Anywhere there’s a listening post, there’s a bunny — who is better equipped, hmmm? Hmmm? But you and Dan are wrong about the author of THE QUEEN OF PATPONG. It’s Christopher Marlowe.

    Riss — Bunnicula is one serious rabbit. We need more like him. Are you still scared? If you are, there’s a 24-hour hotline set up for people just like you. You have to pay for the service, but the proceeds go to buying movie tickets for rabbits.

    Gary, thank YOU for picking up on the sad state of the Mainstream Media these days. Honestly, if it’s not some human lib spouting off about the redistribution of carrots — um, wealth — they don’t want to hear about it. Sarah’s strong-woman fury has been marginalized in the same way that global rabbit protests have; we’d never hear about them if it weren’t for talk radio and blogs like this one.

    Hi, Lil, and thanks for the worst pun of the week, and that’s saying a lot when Laren’s around. Interesting that two people picked up not only on Bacon the painter but also the Bacon whose thunder was stolen by that upstart crow from Stratford. And if micael doesn’t want the carrots, they’re yours.

    Mas to come.

  10. Jaden Says:

    I got the Sir Francis Bacon part, but was Sir Francis a ninja? Because the bunny in the painting has a little ninja mask and katana. Is there anything scarier–and yet cuter–than a ninja bunny?

    Please apologize to Wumsy for the blatant misrepresentation of bunnies by humans? You would think we would know better since Richard Adams spilled the beans…er, carrots…in WATERSHIP DOWN.

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