The O’Malley Treasure Trove (And You Can WIN One!!)

July 27th, 2011

Hidden treasure!  O’Malley has discovered — well, I’ll let him tell you about it.

A week or two ago, inside a drawer where I stuff many unimportant things like the instructions for my push lawn mower and pictures of my inlaws (Munyin excluded) I found a large manila envelope containing (can you stand the suspense?)-THE LOST O’MALLEYS.

There are 3 categories: SECTS IN THE CITY, where I poke fun at culture and religion; THE O’MALLEY CODE, where i answer once and for all if the Freemasons invented cartooning and if they did what’s so funny about a pyramid with an evil eye at its apex? And finally. O’MALLEY BY MOONLIGHT – love and romance in the post nuclear age.

And a fourth, O’MALLEY’S TIPS FOR TEENS.

As the cartoon above suggests, today’s theme is SECTS AND THE CITY.  And those of you who have highly tuned intercultural sensibilities might want to read this blindfolded.

When Mike told me he had done a lot of Burqa jokes, I thought it was hyperbole.  But no.

And closer to home, unless you live in Washington, DC:

TIM:  Do you think cartoonists have an obligation to provide their
readers with a positive  and ethical message?

MIKE: That’s a good question, Tim.

This is the first of at least three O’Malley extravaganzas. Next up will be The O’Malley Interview, or at least part of it, and O’MALLEY BY MOONLIGHT, love and romance in the post-nuclear age. This will get you in the mood.

Oh, and you can be one of THREE people who will WIN AN ORIGINAL, SIGNED O’MALLEY.  Details will follow, but for right now COMMENT, because the winners will be drawn from people who speak up.

28 Responses to “The O’Malley Treasure Trove (And You Can WIN One!!)”

  1. EverettK Says:

    Oink, my funny bone, I t’ink you bwoke it! It’s too bad all the newspapers are going out of business, I’m sure you could get a syndication deal. And all this time I thought TIM was funny… now I know he’s merely humorous (or is that humus?)

    Little did old O’Hallinan know he was setting in motion when he left Ireland!

    I’m just glad your parents didn’t have any more kids than they did. I’d never recover!

  2. Robb Royer Says:

    Laugh out loud stuff… and I did, several times. Mice, you are a very sick man. Or is it man, you are some sick mice?

  3. Tom Logan Says:

    Wonderful! Damn! Now I have two Hallinans I am impatient to see more work from. (Oops, did I just end that sentence with a preposition?)

  4. John Lindquist Says:

    So much expression is conveyed in so few penstrokes in those O’Malley faces. The pigs cracked me up. I was ROFL and happy I had moved the furniture back.

  5. Robb Royer Says:

    Just finished Queen. (‘scuse me for a moment mice)

    Last scene chilling and unexpected, reminded me of dolphins vs white shark. Filmworthy!

  6. Crenna Aesegas Says:

    Oh I’m sorry…..blowing boogers with laughter! Deliciously wickedly unPC. Heh heh heh. Methinks we need more squinty eyes and laughter, and less fear of malice….or should that be fear O’Malleyce

  7. michael hallinan Says:

    Hi All, thanks for the kind comments. I think Everett should get a cartoon for being the first to respond. And since they’re mine you get one no matter how Tim rigs the contest. Robb always good to get a compliment from an old friend. Tom, wait til you see our brother P.K.s work. I don’t think tim is exagerating when he says that P.K. has illustrated and published a hundred books. John, I’m happy you were rolling on the floor; at least I hope thats what it meant. I’ve never texted. Crenna, more un PC cartoons to come if I live. Thanks again, Mice

  8. Larissa Says:

    Ok, so the “Due to the budget cuts we’ll only be teaching 9 commandments” is the one that really got me giggling. It makes me want to know which one got the boot! Maybe they switch them out on a daily basis? How do you decide between “thou shalt not rape” and “thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife”…or whatever it says. Hm. (c:

    Also, the Iranian swimsuit contest is freakin’ hilarious. And so wrong. And yet so funny. Brilliant stuff (c: The knack for one-liners is truly something I wish I had. To be able to be that succinct and that funny all at once…well done! Bravo! Now help me get off this blog before my co-workers start staring at me in earnest…(c:

  9. mitch bower Says:

    If a picture is worth a thousand words the combinations here is priceless. It always pays to show that people are all alike and that the humor that they enjoy in common is always the best.

  10. Cindy Maher Says:

    These are hilarious! Believe me, I can relate to the Utah one (not Mormon but they’re in the news all the time)

  11. Kevin S. Cummings Says:

    Good stuff. Is this where I come to claim my prize? :o)

  12. Timothy Hallinan Says:

    So glad you’re all enjoying this. It gives me yet another opportunity, after Robb hit it out of the park last week, to bask in reflected glory. And reflected glory is fine when it’s the only glory anybody gives you.

    KEVIN — It is if the fates smile upon you. I don’t know yet how we’re going to choose the winners, but they’ll definitely be drawn from among those who have responded.

    CINDY — The Utah one made me spit coffee on the table. (I know I’ve said this before, but the odds are good there’s coffee in my mouth at any time.

    MITCH — Agreed, agreed. I’m not sure EVERYONE would laugh at the Burqa jokes, but those who wouldn’t can just stay home, hmmm?

    RISSA — I’m always delighted when this blog makes you laugh. I have no idea how Mike does this. I’ve tried a hundred times and never come up with anything that would win a smile from even the most easily amused.

    CRENNA, what a vivid turn of phrase. I think I’ll pinch my nostrils before I laugh in the future. But they really are funny, aren’t they?

    ROBB — THANK YOU. I really appreciate that. That ending came out of absolutely nowhere. And the thing Poke does at the end (no spoilers) startled me when I wrote it. I was actually surprised HarperCollins let me leave it in.

    More to come. Got to write now.

  13. Lala Corriere Says:

    Very very clever! I’ve given away sexy string bikinis, but this one takes the cake! Kudos!

  14. sharai Says:

    I was also BBWL. Does this count as speaking up even tho’ I’m late? I want to win!

  15. david shiel Says:

    Those of us who live in the city of plums angels Etc. have experienced some of that. I’m to the pointin Water where she wants to change her name, dye her hair, skin cream! It can only get better.

  16. Suzanna Says:

    Shar, is that Blowing Boogers With Laughter? Very clever my dear, and I do think that counts as speaking up!

    Thanks, Mike, enjoyed your funnies. I’m looking forward to O’Malley’s Tips for Teens.

  17. michael hallinan Says:

    LALA, I’m more interested in giving away string bikins than I ever was in cartooning. Keep me informed.
    SHARAI, Booger blowing will always make you a contender–In this contest and in life.
    DAVID, I have no idea what you are talking about but I agree with you completely.
    SUZANNA, O’Malleys tips for teens is the kind of advice you cant buy. (liability laws). However, this brave blog has decided to publish them for the good of mankind.

  18. glenn w Says:

    Michael,

    What a talent, what devilish sense of humor, what a guy! Had I any sense of what a remarkable gift you possessed, I’d been kinder and more respectful towards you when you were a little squirt and I’d come over to visit Tim. Usually I gave you and Pat a load of crap for your messy rooms. (the Calvinist in me) Anyway, I got to get a copy (signed of course)of the “Due to budget cuts….” cartoon. As a former pastor (Presbyterian….Princeton Theology grad.) it would be a delight to hang it on the wall of my study. Would you be so kind?
    The world needs more of your funniness and creative spirit and wicked sense of the obvious around us.

  19. ~kate Says:

    As to the commandments, can we leave out the one about coveting? I’ve never liked that one.

  20. Stephen Cohn Says:

    Hysterical! Michael, I can see that no one is safe in your world – how cool!

  21. michael hallinan Says:

    Hello again,
    GLEN-because you were mean to me in highscool you get nothing. ( off camera) “OK,Tim”, sorry I’ll send you the cartoon you liked signed and everything. Great way to circumvent Tim’s rigged drawing Glen.
    KATE- COVETING is our national pastime, maybe it is time to legitimize it.

  22. Lil Gluckstern Says:

    These had me laughing and shaking my head. The Hallinan boys really love word play, don’t they? I loved the witness protection plan, and I don’t know why, but I guess that’s okay too. I’m looking forward to more, and more….

  23. michael hallinan Says:

    Hi LIL and STEPHEN, Word play was one of the ways we entertained ourselves as kids. We were always moving (one step ahead of the law). We had our own special language as well as English; and STEPHEN you were right, NO ONE WAS SAFE. Everyone and thing was fair game as long as our observations weren’t too mean spirited.

  24. david shiel Says:

    reading Timothys book breathing water!

  25. Timothy Hallinan Says:

    LALA — You’ve never given ME a sexy string bikini. At the risk of derailing this conversation and sending it in a more interesting direction, why were you giving away sexy string bikinis? And to whom? And do you still have your list of winners?

    LIL, The witness protection program got me, too. My bro has been funny all his life, but this is something new.

    GLENN, Don’t look at me. I don’t recall you being mean to him. But he remembers our childhood as being Dickensian in gloom, or maybe that’s my brother Pat. Anyway, we haven’t yet worked out how we’re going to rig the giveaway, or rather choose the winners, but I’ll announce it probably tomorrow, when Part Two of this blog will (probably) go up.

    STEPHEN, you guys have met, haven’t you? If so, you know that Michael actually looks like Mort Sahl, which makes it even more remarkable when he says something funny. I always thought Mort Sahl’s face gave him a head start as a comic because you’d expect him to have been talking about the death statistics on actuarial tables.

    Kate, you got it. Coveting is history, and the new Tenth Commandment is Thou shalt not wear thy baseball cap backward.

    DAVID, thank you. For those of you, like my brother, to whom David’s post looks like Dada poetry, he’s talking about Miaow in the book BREATHING WATER. And it’s a part of the book I especially like, so it’s nice to know others do, too.

    Sharai and Zanna, please blow boogers with laughter well out of my sight or I’ll TUIOWPA.

  26. Laren Bright Says:

    I can hardly wait for O’Malley by Moonlight. Wait…I already read that one. I’m just stuffing the ballot box. Where do you find these people, Tim? No wonder you’re so…..

  27. michael hallinan Says:

    DEAR ALL, The clown question(s) of great import to all of us will be addressed in my future blog with frankness, clarity and disarming honesty in CLOWN WITOUT PITY, THE REAL STORY! (and to a lesser degree in the critically acclaimed THE REAL CLOWN WIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY) coming in December.

  28. EverettK Says:

    So, will Gene Pitney be providing the sound track for CLOWN WITHOUT PITY?

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