B’con Bound

September 12th, 2011

I’m horning in on The Royer Tapes for a moment (I’m waiting for pictures from him anyway, to accompany three killer posts that I’ve read and you haven’t nyaa nyaa nyaa) to let y’all know that I’ll be leaving Wednesday for the biggest mystery convention of the year.

Bouchercon, named after Anthony Boucher — the first critic to take mysteries seriously, or perhaps over-seriously — is being held in St. Louis this year.  It attracts literally thousands of fans from all over the world and an almost equivalent number of writers, if the list they sent me can be trusted.  Perhaps each writer should buy one fan a drink.

So there are panels and book-signings and more book-signings and banquets, and on Thursday night, the Macavity (the award Munyin mistook for half of an heirloom tomato) is being given, and QUEEN is nominated.  While I doubt I’m going to win it and I’m happy to be nominated primarily because it gets me into the same sentence as James Lee Burke, it wouldn’t hurt if each and every one of you whipped up a tinfoil hat shaped like a funnel, put it on, pointed the tube toward St. Louis, and between the hours of 7 and 8 St. Louis time simply chanted QUEENOFPATPONGQUEENOFPATPONGQUEENOFPATONG.

Those of you who live in apartments can do it silently.

I’ll file a report or two if the hotel’s connection is good.

Thanks in advance.

21 Responses to “B’con Bound”

  1. Tom Logan Says:

    Tim, have fun and good luck. Remember, please, that whatever happens with the Macavity Award, your fans who read your books KNOW you’re the best.

  2. Steve Rosse Says:

    Happily, I was already wearing my tin foil hat. I won’t take it off between now and Thursday.

  3. Suzanna Says:

    Steve got it perfectly right! Your fans KNOW you’re the best.

    Today was the only day I hadn’t checked your blog umpteen times for a new post and now here you are at last with your pre Macavity Awards blog.

    So excited for you Tim. Your trip sounds like it will be really fun.

    Hope we get to hear all about it as soon as you get a chance.

    Rooting for you all the way from Cali with the biggest brightest tin foil hat I can muster!

  4. Laren Bright Says:

    The heck with “if the hotel connection is any good.” You keep us posted or…or…or…Just keep us posted dammit.

  5. Stephen Cohn Says:

    Two nominations would seem to indicate that the Universe is taking note.

    Silently chanting here….

  6. Malcolm Searles Says:

    Have a GREAT trip. Hope it all turns out well 😉

  7. Howard Marder Says:

    Whether you win or not doesn’t really matter (yeah, right) because you’ve already won the admiration and continuing respect of Poke and his family’s ongoing adventures. Just have a good time and glow in the respect of having even been nominated.

  8. Maria Yolanda Aguayo Says:

    Congratulations on the nomination. All your readers as they read your words are sending loud and clear energy filled mantras through out the universe and specifically to all Macavity Judges. I personally will be re-reading “Queen of Patpong” to send your own words as high energy bolts to St. Louis. Good Luck.

  9. EverettK Says:

    I’m fashioning an all-new, fresh-off-the-roll tin-foil hat as I type (only typing with two fingers… fashioning a tin-foil hat takes WAY more fingers than typing). The old one was getting kind of fragile anyway: almost 15 years of guarding my superior brain from the bombardment of alpha particles will turn anything fragile (hopefully with the exception of the aforementioned protected brain).

    Ahhhhhh-OMMMMMMMMMM Queen of Patpong
    Ahhhhhh-OMMMMMMMMMM Queen of Patpong
    Ahhhhhh-OMMMMMMMMMM Queen of Patpong
    Ahhhhhh-OMMMMMMMMMM Queen of Patpong

    (My eyelids are getting heavy…)

  10. John Lindquist Says:

    I was just checking the website at http://www.bouchercon2011.com and found out some very lucky bidder will be off to the firing range with Zoe Sharp! Makes me want to miss my lighthouse tour and attend this thing. Probably wouldn’t be able to get my Buntline Special through security, though. Good luck, Tim!

  11. EverettK Says:

    By the way, per your recent newsletter, I’ll be ‘corssing’ my fingers for you, as soon as I figure out how to do that.

  12. michael hallinan Says:

    I wore my tin foil hat out in the last electrical storm. Is that brotherly love? (don’t try this at home). Hat is on (what’s left of it), and pointed towards you. I’m will not be surprised if you win this thing; how long can a book of this quality go without significant praise and acknowledgement? Please keep us informed. The Tin Man

  13. Timothy Hallinan Says:

    Hi, y’all. What a crowd is here assembled.

    Everett, thanks for catching the typo — I’ve only sent out the first 250, so I can fix it for the other thousands.

    John, Zoe is something. I wouldn’t shoot against her competitively, and I’d count my fingers after a handshake. She can kill with a flirtatious wink.

    Everett, all the atoms in tinfoil renew completely every seven years, so your old tinfoil hat is essentially already your new tinfoil hat, but smarter because the atoms in tinfoil that’s used for psychic practices actually evolve to the point where they can not only magnify visions and protect against malign influence but can also make all the lights in your house blink five minutes before Simon Cowell appears on your TV scree. (Thanks for the Hindu chant; I’ll be doing it silently as they read the nominees.

    Maria, I really like your concept of sympathetic magic, beaming the book’s words towards us. I’m looking for volunteers to join you — preferably, several thousand of them, so maybe we could start with your sisters.

    Howard, that’s very kind of you, and it really IS an honor to be on this particular list. Great writers, all of them.

    Malcolm, thank you, and wish me tender handling by TSA. May they not get too intimate.

    Laren, order duly noted. I just wish you could see the snap and polish of my salute. Should be a good connection — it’s an Omni and they usually do things pretty well.

    Zanna, you just keep sending me those pictures of QUEEN in bookstores. Makes it all seem real somehow. And don’t forget, when you cross your fingers wearing a tinfoil hat do NOT CROSS YOUR LEGS. Can create a massive short circuit that has actually turned people inside out, resulting in dangerous and expensive surgery or highly aggressive dry cleaning. I don’t even know what I’m talking about.

    Steve — I didn’t think you ever took it off.

    And Tom, first guy last this time, thanks so much, and spread that word!!

  14. EverettK Says:

    Tim said: …do NOT CROSS YOUR LEGS.

    Oh, my, I can see that you were probably the terror of all mothers of teenaged girls in southern California…

  15. Colleen Kennedy Says:

    A well deserved congratulations on the Macavity nomination and Lah Gorn laa Dee Chohk Tim, Poke, Rose, Miaow, et al. I’m sending more energy filled mantras from the valley!

  16. Bonnie Says:

    I’ll probably be following Margery Flax’s Twitterfeed on Thursday while my roommate at the State Bar Meeting listens to the Women Lawyers praise each other and I order a tuna sandwich from room service. Crossing my fingers again, but we know you’re the best anyway.

  17. Lil Gluckstern Says:

    Good luck vibes being sent with everything I have. Of all the books, Queen really touched me the most. Also, Have a wonderful time with your buddies.

  18. Sarah Cluster Says:

    OH MY GOSH ! How wonderful … it’s about TIME … am so P****d off that one of my favorite books did not get the EXPOSURE that I think accords the writers who DO “Perhaps each writer should buy one fan a drink” subscribe to your suggestion there. How do some of those writers get those full page ads in the middle of The New Yorker? Queen is so much better than this one in particular whose ad was as I said, so I specifically read some of it and …. nothing like yours.

    QUEENOFPATPONGQUEENOFPATPONGQUEENOFPATONG

    Queen of Patpong …. can we go to some site and vote .. We should have all contributed to an air balloon with such a big ad. Oh it would be so deserved for her to Win!

  19. Robb Royer Says:

    Wow! You got Queen in both of the world’s remaining bookstores!

  20. Robb Royer Says:

    By the way… where the hell did you get that factoid about aluminum?

  21. Sharai Says:

    Help! The suspense is killing me and I can’t sleep with this damn hat squeezing my brain! You’re worth it, just let me know when I can take it off!

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